Don't stop me now

Now that I am back from Arizona and am somewhat revived and refreshed, and still a tad annoyed with my current situation in life, I’m back to blow your minds with a little blog post.

Even though I was sick with sinuses the entire week I was in Arizona (Why God, Why?), I still had a lot of time to do some soul searching. I think I needed it more than I realized.

I didn’t need to be worried about work the next day or job searching and money, even though I spent way too much of it while I was away. It was a strange feeling. I haven’t felt like this while I’ve been on any other vacation. I wish I knew why. But I’m certainly not complaining.

Before I left for Arizona, a woman that I admire and respect told me that I am the type of person who needed to get out of this town. It meant a lot to me, it meant that she saw potential in me that others might overlook. It meant that she sees me doing things bigger than anyone in this town can dream of. That’s what kick started it.

literally how i felt when she told me that

So back to that soul searching bit. It was very calming to be up in the mountains in Arizona, looking out on the rest of the world carrying on, hustling and bustling through life, while I stood still and watched it all happen. It was a wonderful reminder that there is a life outside of my tiny corner of the world, and it’s big and busy and there’s opportunities. The world expands so much beyond where I’m currently rooted at. I think sometimes we all forget that, and it’s easy to forget. You can get sucked into the humdrum routine of your daily life and slowly start to let your hopes and dreams slip through your fingers like sand. That is something I’d never forgive myself for if I ever let it happen.

I think I decided that I was going to do it. Whatever that “it” may be. I’m going to make it happen for myself and by God, if someone doesn’t give me the opportunity to do it, I’m going to create the opportunity for myself. I’ll publish my own book, star in a film that I write the script for, produce my own album, do my own PR. I’ve decided that sometimes the door you want to go through just isn’t there, so you can A.) sit and cry about it or B.) build your own door.

Realize, this will take sacrifices and you will go through failures. And your failures certainly don’t define you, how you respond to those failures however, does.

footage of me bossing up whenever I have a problem

So. Are you going to do the damn thing? Are you going to go out and get what you want or are you going to let it run away from you? This is the time, in the words of my sweet mama to “shit or get off the pot”. Or in the words of the great Tallahassee, its time to nut up or shut up.

It makes you think. What will you do? Chase the dream or settle for what you’re comfortable with?

It’s true that life does start out of your comfort zone. You can never grow if you never break your own boundaries.

I’ve decided that I’m going to go for it. I’ve never settled and I won’t start now. And yes, I may have a hard time getting where I want to be, but so be it.

It took some time for me to learn that it’s not that I’m not ready for the world, the world just isn’t ready for me.

Well, ready or not, I’m here.